Friday, 1 October 2021

INDEPENDENCE DAY ADDRESS BY HIS EXCELLENCY, MUHAMMADU BUHARI, PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA ON THE OCCASION OF NIGERIA’S SIXTY FIRST INDEPENDENCE ANNIVERSARY, FRIDAY 1ST OCTOBER, 2021.


 

Citizens of Nigeria.

 

It is with full gratitude to God that today, we celebrate Nigeria’s sixty first Independence Anniversary.

 

2.​For 1st of October 1960 to happen, all hands were on deck. East, West, North all came together to celebrate freedom. Today should not only serve as a reminder of the day the British handed over the reins of power to Nigerians, but also unified Nigerians from all ethnic groups, religions and regions.

 

3.​Today, despite the challenges we face, most Nigerians still maintain the spirit of 1st October. That positive outlook and determination to make Nigeria a peaceful and prosperous nation. It is due to this collective attitude that Nigeria doggedly continues to remain a united and indivisible nation.

 

4.​Fellow Nigerians, the past eighteen months have been some of the most difficult periods in the history of Nigeria. Since the civil war, I doubt whether we have seen a period of more heightened challenges than what we have witnessed in this period.

 

5.​Our original priorities for 2020 were to continue stabilising our economy following the deep recession while restoring peace in areas confronted with security challenges. But the COVID-19 pandemic and its devastating impact on all nations meant we needed to shift gears and re-strategise.

 

 

6.​Nigerians came together as one to fight against COVID-19. It is this attitude and by the special grace of God, we continue to survive the pandemic as a nation and indeed, provide leadership and example at regional and international levels.

 

7.​The doomsday scenario predicted for our country never came. Even as the Delta variant continues to spread, we have built the capacity we need to respond now and into the future.

 

8.​I will therefore appeal to Nigerians not to take COVID lightly, adhere to public health and social measures, put your mask on and get vaccinated. We can control this pandemic, but it requires effort on everybody’s part. The investments we made in response to COVID-19 will also serve our country to tackle any future disease outbreaks or pandemics.

 

9.​Despite the global inequity in access to vaccines, the Government of Nigeria has continued to explore all available options to ensure Nigerians have free access to safe and effective vaccines.

 

10.​Some five million vaccine doses have been administered to Nigerians through efforts led by the National Primary Health Care Development Agency and we will continue to explore options for purchase or acquisition of vaccines such as through COVAX and the African Vaccine Acquisition Trust.

 

11.​I will take this opportunity to remind the global community that the current state of access to COVID-19 vaccines is unacceptable. We cannot afford a situation where a handful of countries keep the global vaccine supply to themselves at the expense of other nations.

 

12.​We must act now to accelerate equitable distribution of COVID-19 vaccines. This is the message I conveyed to the international community in New York last week.

 

13.​As we push to source vaccines for our immediate needs, we shall invest more to support our pharmaceutical and research agencies to come up with ideas for locally developed vaccines. Should another pandemic arise in the future, Our question is simple; will Nigeria be ready?

 

14.​Accordingly, I have directed the Ministries of Finance, Budget and National Planning, Health, Education and Science and Technology to work with Nigerian and International pharmaceutical companies and research organisations to enhance Nigeria’s domestic pharmaceutical capacity.

 

15.​Already, the Nigerian Sovereign Investment Authority is raising a $200 million fund for this initiative that will complement the Central Bank of Nigeria’s ongoing N85 billion Healthcare Sector Research and Development Intervention Scheme to support local researchers in the development of vaccines and drugs to combat communicable and non-communicable diseases, including COVID-19.

 

Fellow Nigerians, this is just the beginning.

16.​Similarly, on our approach to food security, I am proud to announce Nigeria has commenced its journey to pharmaceutical independence.

17.​This journey, which will take years to achieve but will ultimately result in Nigerian based companies developing the Active Pharmaceutical substances and competence needed for us to make our own drugs and vaccines.

 

Fellow Nigerians,

 

18.​As our economy continues to open after the COVID-19 related lockdowns, we have also seen the resurgence of insecurity in certain parts of the country.

 

19.​In the last four months, the gallant men and women of the Military and Security Agencies have made tremendous progress in addressing these new security challenges. We are taking the fight to our enemies from all angles and we are winning.

 

20.​Earlier this year, I launched the Integrated National Security and Waterways Protection Infrastructure, the Deep Blue Project, which is designed to secure Nigerian waters up to the Gulf of Guinea. I am happy to inform Nigerians that we have taken delivery of key assets for this project and very soon, its impact will be felt.

 

21.​In the North East region alone, over eight thousand Boko Haram terrorists have surrendered.

 

22.​To support our surge approach to fighting banditry, the Nigerian Armed Forces have recruited over 17,000 personnel across all ranks. Furthermore, I have also approved for the Nigerian Police Force to recruit 10,000 police officers annually over the next six years.

 

23.​I am also pleased to note that most of the Air Force platforms we acquired over the past three years have started to arrive in Nigeria. These will positively impact our security operations in all parts of the country.

 

24.​In line with section 14(2)(b) of the 1999 Constitution (as amended), the security and welfare of Nigerians continue to be the prime focus on which programmes and projects of our government revolves.

 

25.​Therefore, as a Government, we are ready to arrest and prosecute all persons inciting violence through words or action. Our resolve for a peaceful, united and one Nigeria remains resolute and unwavering. 

 

26.​That said, our hope is not to fight for peace. We can always settle our grievances peacefully without spilling any blood.

 

27.​I will therefore take this opportunity, on this special day that symbolises the unity and oneness of our great nation, to ask all Nigerians to embrace peace and dialogue, whatever your grievances.

 

28.​The seeds of violence are planted in people’s heads through words. Reckless utterances of a few have led to losses of many innocent lives and destruction of properties.

 

29.​Such unfiltered and unsubstantiated lies and hate speeches by a few evil persons must be stopped. Our media houses and commentators must move away from just reporting irresponsible remarks to investigating the truth behind all statements and presenting the facts to readers.

 

30.​We must all come out and speak against the lies being peddled. At this point, I would want to sincerely appreciate the large number of our Traditional, Religious and Community leaders as well as other well-meaning Nigerians who, in their various fora are openly spreading the message of peaceful co-existence and conflict settlement through dialogue in their respective communities.

 

31.​Nigeria is for all of us. Its unity is not negotiable. And its ultimate success can only be achieved if we all come together with a common goal of having peace and prosperity for our nation.

 

32.​We shall continue to work on dialogue based solutions to address legitimate grievances. But we remain ready to take decisive actions against secessionist agitators and their sponsors who threaten our national security.

 

33.​The recent arrests of Nnamdi Kanu and Sunday Adeyemo, and the ongoing investigations being conducted have revealed certain high-profile financiers behind these individuals. We are vigorously pursuing these financiers including one identified as a serving member of the national assembly.

 

Fellow Nigerians,

34.​This is a clear example of how people abandon their national leadership positions for their selfish gains. Instead of preaching unity, they are funding and misleading our youth to conduct criminal acts that sometimes lead to unfortunate and unnecessary loss of lives and property.

 

35.​As the so-called leaders run abroad to hide, our innocent youths are misled and left in the streets to fight for their senseless and destructive causes.

 

36.​Government will continue, with greater level of peoples’ participation and in collaboration with our international partners, to improve the security architecture, reduce enabling environment for criminality to thrive and eliminate opportunities for terrorism financing.

 

37.​Fellow Nigerians, our unrelenting effort at resolving an almost two-decade stalling on the management of our Petroleum resources and ensuring equitable consideration to our host communities has resulted in the enactment of the Petroleum Industry Act, 2021.

 

38.​This Act not only overhauls the Institutional, regulatory and fiscal framework of the Petroleum Industry but also reduces the previous opacity associated with this sector.  

 

39.​This is the first step to the reforms as the process is a continuous one. Already, to further improve the governance framework, I have sought for an amendment of sections 11(2)(b) and 34(2)(b). We will also continue to review and amend as appropriate.

 

40.​At this juncture, it is very appropriate that I salute the leadership and members of the Ninth Assembly for their patriotism, dedication to duty, candour and most importantly the dispatch with which they have enacted legacy legislations for this nation. I do not take such level of cooperation for granted and hope it continues for the overall efficiency of the Federal machinery.

 

41.​Nigeria’s Roadmap on Local Refining is on track with the Commissioning of a Modular refinery in Imo State.

 

42.​A second is scheduled for commissioning by the end of this year in Edo State and the third one in Bayelsa State by 2022.

 

43.​In addition to the modular projects, we also have the two mega refinery projects coming up in Lagos and Akwa Ibom States.

 

44.​As these refineries are commissioned, more employment opportunities are created and there would be increased petroleum products available for local consumption which will significantly reduce our reliance on importation.

 

45.​In further demonstrating our plan to reduce our dependence on oil and tapping from our enormous gas resources, this administration remains committed to the “Decade of Gas” Initiative, which is aimed at bringing to focus the utilization of our huge gas resources.

 

46.​Already, we are supporting and promoting various gas-based projects including NLNG Train 7 and the mega urea and ammonia projects in the South-South region.

 

47.​As we continue to optimise and enhance our oil and gas sector, I am also proud and delighted to state that our economic diversification strategy remains on course with the persistent increase in Non-Oil Sector contribution to GDP.

 

48.​We recovered from economic recession in quarter four of 2020 with a GDP growth rate of 0.11%, and grew by 0.51% and 5.01% in real terms in the first and second quarters of 2021.

 

49.​The Agricultural sector remains key to our economic diversification efforts as the sector has been a consistent driver of the non-oil sector contributing 22.35% and 23.78% to the overall GDP in the first and second quarter of 2021.

 

50.​We have seen significant private sector investments in almost all areas of the agricultural value chain. And these have continued even during the COVID-19 pandemic.

 

51.​Unfortunately, as our food production capacity has increased, food prices have been going up due to artificial shortages created by middlemen who have been buying and hoarding these essential commodities for profiteering.

 

52.​To address this, I am hereby directing the Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development to rehabilitate the National Food Reserve Agency and also work with security agencies, the Nigerian Commodity Exchange, and the National Assembly to find a lasting solution to these disruptive and unpatriotic hoarding activities.

 

53.​To further enhance food production, we have completed several new dams and are in the process of rehabilitating several River Basin Development Authorities to enhance ground water supply for rainfed agriculture as well as surface water for irrigation agriculture.

 

54.​The water projects we completed between 2015 to 2020 have improved Nigerian’s access to potable water to 71% between 2015 and 2020. This means 12.5 million additional Nigerians now have direct access to potable water.

 

Fellow Nigerians,

55.​This Government remains concerned by the significant transportation infrastructure deficit we have. Addressing the challenges our commuters and lorry drivers face on the motorways is still a high priority to us.

 

56.​To complement our budgetary allocations, the Presidential Infrastructure Development Fund and the Road Infrastructure Development and Refurbishment Investment Tax Credit Scheme, we recently established a N15trillion Infrastructural Corporation of Nigeria Limited (INFRACO), which is expected to begin operation by the fourth quarter of this year.

 

57.​INFRACO will also focus on leveraging resources on a public-private sector basis for infrastructural development in Nigeria.

 

58.​We hope through these innovative programs, the additional cost burden on individuals and businesses because of inefficient logistics operations will be reduced and ultimately, eliminated.

 

59.​We currently have over 13,000 kilometres of roads and bridges under construction all over the country of which a fair percentage have been completed.

 

60.​As we fix our roads, we also continue to extend and upgrade Nigeria’s railway network with the notable opening of the Warri- Itakpe standard gauge rail line.

 

61.​To increase capacity, we have introduced more locomotives, coaches and wagons including the establishment of a Wagon Assembly in Kajola, Ogun State.

 

62.​The sea ports however still remain problematic. The effect of our various interventions to reduce the gridlocks and inefficiencies have been slower than expected.

 

63.​However, the implementation of the Electronic Call-Up System as well as the conversion of the Lillypond Container Terminal to a Vehicle Transit Area will further enhance the ease of cargo evacuation.

 

64.​Our prioritisation of developing Nigeria’s Digital Economy has positively impacted the contribution of the ICT sector to our GDP.

 

65.​We hope our present efforts to ensure all Nigerians use a National Identification Number as well as our planned roll-out of the fifth generation (5G) network technology will ensure we stay in line with the global innovation curve as a Nation.

 

66.​As we embrace the digital economy in Nigeria, we are fully aware of the prospects and the perils.  Our policies have been developed to enable Nigerians to take advantage of the prospects and avoid the perils of digital technologies.  

 

67.​Social media is a very useful platform that has enabled millions of Nigerians to connect with loved ones, promote their businesses, socialise, and access news and other information.

 

68.​However, recent events have shown that the platform is not just an innocuous platform for information dissemination.

 

69.​Rather some users have misused the platform to organise, coordinate, and execute criminal activities, propagate fake news, and promote ethnic and religious sentiments.

70.​To address these negative trends, the Federal Government of Nigeria suspended the operations of Twitter in Nigeria on June 5, 2021 to allow the Government put measures in place to address these challenges.

71.​Following the suspension of Twitter operations, Twitter Inc. reached out to the Federal Government of Nigeria to resolve the impasse. Subsequently, I constituted a Presidential Committee to engage Twitter to explore the possibility of resolving the issue.

72.​The Committee, along with its Technical Team, has engaged with Twitter and have addressed a number of key issues. These are:

a. National Security and Cohesion;

b. Registration, Physical presence and Representation;

c. Fair Taxation;

d. Dispute Resolution; and

e. Local Content.

73.​Following the extensive engagements, the issues are being addressed and I have directed that the suspension be lifted but only if the conditions are met to allow our citizens continue the use of the platform for business and positive engagements.  

74.​As a country, we are committed to ensuring that digital companies use their platform to enhance the lives of our citizens, respect Nigeria's sovereignty, cultural values and promote online safety.

75.​Nigeria's progressive diplomacy continues to manifest through growing numbers of highly placed Nigerians in positions of regional and global influences. Very recently, Nigeria won election for the position of Commissioner for the expanded Political, Peace and Security Affairs of the African Union.

76.​Our persistent calls for a reorganized and reformed ECOWAS, to make the organization citizens-sensitive, paid off with the acceptance by the Authority of Heads of State and Governments of ECOWAS to commence the agreed reforms in the organization ahead of the next elections of the organization’s principal officers in December this year.

77.​At the African Development Bank, World Trade Organization and indeed, the United Nations, footprints of Nigeria's Diplomacy are clearly evident.

78.​We remain confident that our goal of lifting 100million Nigerians out of poverty in 10 years is achievable.

79.​Considering the positive impact of our Social Investment Programs, I recently approved an increase in the number of N-Power program beneficiaries from 500,000 to 1,000,000.

80.​Out of this, 510,000 have started the programme while the competitive selection process for onboarding the outstanding 490,000 beneficiaries is in progress.

81.​The National Home-Grown School Feeding Programme is currently being implemented in 35 States of the Federation and the FCT. Over 103,000 women have been engaged and empowered as cooks under the programme, while about 10 million pupils are being fed across public primary schools in the country.

82.​To grant increased access to credit to the most poor and vulnerable, I have directed an increase in the disbursement of Government Enterprise and Empowerment Programme loans to an additional one million beneficiaries laying more emphasis on the smallholding farmers through the farmers Moni program.

Fellow Nigerians,

83.​ For far too long we have neglected the centrality of the civil service as the engine of governance and this has manifested in ineffective service delivery.

84.​ There is widespread discontent and disillusion about the efficiency and probity of our civil service.

85.​It is for this reason that we are refocusing the Nigerian Civil Service to provide World class service to run our country.

86.​The youths of this great country remain propellants for our today and provide guarantees that we would have a secure tomorrow.

87.​It is for this reason that I remain focused on expanding opportunities for their participation in politics and governance.

88.​Recent appointments of young people into positions of authority and their track record so far, gives me confidence that we need to bring more of them into governance and this I promise to do.

89.​More specifically, to encourage Girl-Child Education, female scholarship schemes, life skills and digital literacy skills to boost girl’s enrolment, retention and completion of schooling, are all initiatives put in place to ensure gender balance in appropriately positioning our youths for positions of leadership.

90.​The commitment of this Administration to the well-being of people living with disabilities remains unwavering.

91.​Government recognises their contributions to development and I have, in this regard, directed that all relevant Government Agencies pay special attention to the peculiarities of different abilities in the implementation of policies and programmes.

92.​Rape and Gender Based Violence remains a sore point in our Nation as in many countries worldwide and this was worsened during and after the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic.

93.​We are currently engaging Heads of Courts to establish Specialised Courts for the speedy and seamless trial of Rape/Gender-Based offences especially to ensure that justice is done for child victims of sexual violence.

94.​On the other hand, work has advanced in the reformation, reintegration and reunification of Minors involved in one crime or the other.

95.​The reformation in our Correctional Services has manifested in an increase in modernised custodial centres and a transformation from strictly punitive to attitudinal changes so that criminals do not relapse into their previous lifestyle.

96.​As we begin to celebrate our sixty one years as a Nation, we need to be conscious that Nigeria does not start and end with the Federal Government. This country is a great collective where Government at all arms and levels as well as the private sector, and more importantly individuals, have a role to play.

97.​In particular, security is a bottom to top undertaking. Joining hands and hearts together would enable us to secure ourselves and our country.

98.​I fully understand the anxiety of many Nigerians on the inability of this country to go beyond a never-ending potential for becoming a great nation to an actually great one.

99.​A lot has been achieved in the last six years on many fronts: in infrastructure, social care, governance, Nigeria’s image and influence in Africa and the international community. 

100.​But critics misdiagnose incremental progress as stagnation. Since coming to power, this Administration has tackled our problems head-on in spite of the meagre resources. No government since 1999 has done what we have done in six years to put Nigeria back on track. 

101.​We shall continue to serve the country: listen to all and protect our democracy and country. 

 

Thank you all and God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Thursday, 30 September 2021

"ENVIRONMENT THAT WORKS..." Rev'd Bisi

"Every seed is a potential forest".


Every big trees and forest you see today were once a seed. Don't neglect seeds in life. When you see people who aren't manifesting yet don't look down on them, because inside of everyone is SEED of GREATNESS. "We have this treasure in an earthen vessel".
I want to convince you that there is a seed inside of you. That SEED will provide for all you NEED in life if you will nurture it. 
The first thing devil attacks is the seed, he does so by deceiving you "to plant it on the path way where the enemy will come and take the seed", I hope you remember this illustration of Jesus on the Parable of the Sower! If he(devil) couldn't succeed in stealing the seed away from you, the second thing he attacks is YOU(the carrier of the seed)..... That's when you begin to experience all negative things, it seems hell is loosed against you, the target is to make you depressed and then to give up. 
And this is where I want to dwell today...... 
These attacks on you comes inform of a TOXIC ENVIRONMENT. The devil will do everything to turn people against you even your friends or fathers, make you ashame, make you hated, and make nothing seems to be working for you.

His target is to make your environment unconducive for the seed to grow.
Without doubt everyone of us possesses the seed of greatness, but I want to ask you, how is your environment? The kind of people that lives around you determine the state of your environment. Your seed of greatness won't grow well in a toxic environment. 

When you surround yourself with negative people, small minded people, jealous people, gossipers, insecure people and fearful people then there is no way you will amount to greatness in life. 


NOW CHECK THE KIND OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU;

What type of words do the people around you speak? What is their vocabulary?.
What visions do they have? Are they living for something at all? 
How supportive are those you call your friends or partners to you?
What is the belief and philosophy of the people around you? Do they celebrate success of another person or find pleasure in pulling people down?
Do they keep malice or forgive?
Can you proudly say that your environment or people around you are very loving? 
Your problem is that you know that your environment is toxic yet you are still there. 

DON'T PAMPER NEGATIVITY.

The seed in you must guard jealously. PROTECT THAT BABY IN YOU. Protect your seed. Change your environment right now. 
Where there is no vision people perish, but now where there is no vision people move their parish, MOVE YOUR PARISH. 
Don't waste your life in a relationship that terminates your reality in the name of faithfulness. 

Don't keep spending time with people who don't believe in you at all.

MAKE A SWITCH. WALK AWAY. 
Go to where you are celebrated not where you are tolerated. Change your friends if the ones you have already are not encouraging, inspiring, and supporting you. But first of all be that kind of friend you will like to have.
This is what my Coach, Kunle Joe Komolafe, thought me at "Running With Vision" Lagos hangout one time ago.... I want to summarize it for you... 

7 AREAS you need to CHANGE if you are not getting the results you expected!!! 

1. Change Your Mind feed 
2. Change Your Wake up time
3. Change Your Network
4. Change Your Vocabulary 
5. Change Your Personal Brand 
6. Change Your Picture 
7. Change Your Source


Let me know how you feel about this post... 
I esteem you. 


© Uncle Bs’I

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

My_Childhood_Vs_Adulthood.
----------------------------------------

A funny question has bothered me for a while. It actually means nothing but I got curious about it.
So, I asked my mom:"Does a tanker that carry petrol need to buy petrol for itself?"
A "Yes" or "No" would have satisfied my curiosity. But, I got more! She couldn't have given me a more striking answer.
She asked: "Is it not a car?". "It does everything a car does?" she continued.

Wow! I smiled as I thought. "So these guys carry a tank of fuel and yet would need to line-up in a filling station?" I know that it may be difficult to find such tankers queuing up in petrol stations - I mean they work for those who supply petrol. But it's interesting to note that the petrol attached cannot replace the petrol within. I feel this is very instructive to Christians who are called to leadership or ministers. It's easy to confuse the petrol on the tank with the petrol within.

Can I ask you- how often do you check your petrol gauge? How often do you ask for an internal refilling rather than a word for others? Do signs and wonders still function while internally you are running dry? Are men congratulating you for the time and service you give to God's work, yet heaven
complains that you hardly have time for your God?


Remember these two (2) things:

1. The petrol outside can only be delivered if there is enough petrol within. If there's no petrol within,
you'd stop half way. He that has granted you this noble task of delivering His petrol desires to freely give to you all the petrol you need for the vehicle.

2. You are first a vehicle before a tanker. Don't be fooled! You can run dry! You are not a superman!! You are human - In need of God's help.

Anointing cannot replace God; Gifts cannot replace God; Nothing can!

Therefore, take a retreat, cut down on activities!
Please, find time and refill with God.


MotionTalk By;
Nwaenyi David C.

PARENTAL ABUSE?

Is Your Child’s Behavior Abusive?

If your child or teen is harming you physically, you are being abused. It’s that plain and simple. One man raising his granddaughter admitted, I knew her behavior was unacceptable; she would throw things whenever she got mad and one time she hit me in the chest with an ashtray. After that, she started throwing things with the intention of hitting me. I just never thought of it as abusive. No one wants to believe their child could be abusive. Emotion can muddy the waters, make us question whether or not things are as “bad” as our gut tells us they are. Ask yourself: if your child was anyone else – a neighbor, a co-worker – would you consider his or her actions to be assaultive or abusive? This will help you take the emotion out of evaluating a situation.
Warning Signs of Parental Abuse
Sometimes a situation escalates without us even realizing it.  The following are some potential warning signs that a child’s behavior is bordering on abusive:

  • Feeling Intimidated. It’s normal to feel your child is pushing boundaries to get what he wants. Kids will ask over and over for something they want, until a parent can finally snap, “I told you no!” What’s not typical is to feel that if you don’t give your child what she wants, she will retaliate in a way that is harmful to you. Intimidation is a way of frighteningsomeone else into doing something. It may be the words, the tone of voice or even just a look.
  • Extreme Defiance Yes, kids can be defiant, even your typical child. But when it reaches a point that your child has no respect for your authority as a parent, outright defying the rules of your home with no fear or concern of consequences, it’s a potential sign of escalation. Many kids can be defiant without violence; however, extreme oppositional behavior can be part of a more serious picture.
  • An Escalating Pattern of Violence. Kids get angry, slam doors, throw things in a fit on the floor in their room. You can probably remember a time when you were growing up that you got mad and smashed something. But you learned that this behavior didn’t get you what you wanted and – in fact – may result in you having to re-buy things you valued. On the other hand, if a child or teen’s behavior continues to escalate to the point of destroying property, punching walls, shoving, hitting things near you or throwing things that “almost” hit you, making verbal threats or violating your personal boundaries (“getting in your space”), this is a pattern that may indicate abusive behavior.


Responding to Disrespect
Most parents face mild to moderate disrespectful behavior from their kids from time to time. But what’s an effective way to respond?
  1. Decide which behaviors need to be addressed. Most kids have engaged in mildly disrespectful behaviors, such as rolling their eyes at a parent, at least a few times in life. Sometimes it’s as they’re walking away; sometimes they do it before they realize, “Oops, mom’s still standing in front of me!” This is an example of a behavior that you may choose to “let go,” and instead focus on larger issues of disrespect (such as yelling, swearing, slamming doors, screaming “I hate you,” depending on your child’s age.) Who hasn’t heard Mom say, “If you keep making that face, it’ll freeze that way!” Sometimes it’s hard for a teen to hide their discontent – and honestly, isn’t it that way for all of us? On the other hand, if your daughter rolls her eyes at you every time you turn around, you may decide that enough is enough and this behavior warrants a conversation. As a parent, it’s a judgment call, but most parents agree there are times when you’ll want to “pick your battles."
  2. Don’t take responsibility for your child’s disrespect. One of the reasons a rude child is so upsetting to us is that we often feel it’s a reflection of our parenting. If you’re sitting around the Thanksgiving table with Uncle Bob and Grandma Jean and your son blurts out something rude or inconsiderate to you, it can trigger feelings of anger and embarrassment. “What kind of parent will other people think I am if my child is acting this way?” As hard as it is, remember: your child’s behavior is a reflection of him – not you. 
  3. Define for your child what disrespect is. Talk to your child about which behavior is respectful and which isn’t. We often expect our kids to know things without spelling them out. Kids who are younger tend to think in terms that are “concrete.” You have to actually tell them “When you yell at me, it’s disrespectful.” Don’t assume that just because your child has reached adolescence, he has insight into how his behavior comes off to other people. Sometimes it’s even hard for us – as parents – to pin down. There are times it may be a tone of voice or just the way something was said that sounded like it had “attitude.” Again, decide if those are things that can be let go from time to time or if it’s frequent enough that it’s a pattern that needs to be addressed.Also, let your child know which behaviors will result in potential consequences: “The next time you yell at me, there will be no friends over for the weekend,” or whatever your consequence may be. Remember to keep consequences realistic and short term when the issue is only mild to moderate disrespect. You want the “punishment to fit the crime,” so to speak. And what you’re really doing is showing your child that when she treats others disrespectfully, she’s not likely to get many nice things done for her in return.
  4. Give your child alternative problem-solving skills. If your child is handling her frustration or anger in a way that is disrespectful or unacceptable, talk with her about different ways she can express herself appropriately. You can actually role-play different situations with your child. Have her play the parent and you play her. Give her the words she can use to let you know she’s disappointed or unhappy. Because in life, she’s going to have to express being unhappy or frustrated – not just to you, but to others such as friends, teachers and eventually a boss or spouse. It can be valuable to ask yourself, “How am I teaching my child to treat others? Am I modeling for her how to treat others respectfully?” But ultimately, it’s your child’s responsibility to manage her own emotions and behavior by using the tools you provide her.
  5. Provide Positive Reinforcement: Recognize times your child does behave in a respectful way toward you or others and make sure he knows you’re aware of it: “You know, I really enjoyed talking to you this way today. I hope we can have more conversations like this.” Even if he was only respectful for a moment, notice and acknowledge it. You want to reinforce the behavior you want to see more often. Focusing only on behavior you don’t want to see won’t accomplish your parenting goal: to teach your child to behave in a respectful manner toward you and other.

The road to a healthier relationship with your child will very likely take time. There’s no shortcut or quick fix. It starts with acknowledgement of the issue and accountability. If you’re facing this issue in your family, we wish you strength and empowerment.

MotionTalk By;
David C. Nwaenyi (DCN)
(Ugwudịnanwa)

Knighthood Service of Hon. Chief Austine Chukwukere -Nwachinemere (Member Representing Ideato North & Ideato South Fed. Constituency

Hon. Austine Chukwukere Being Knighted alongside others, by Most Rev'd Dr. Caleb A. Maduoma